The Hunger Games: Part I excerpt

By Suzanne Collins

"Oh," says Rue with a sigh
Replace: a dark distrusting tone. "I've never had a whole leg to myself before.

I'll bet she hasn't. I'll bet meat hardly ever comes her way. "Take the other," I say.
Close Read: Katniss literally only trusts and wants to help Prim and this one other girl she has found that is like Prim. The fact that she doesn't trust anyone else is a testament to her background and general personality.

"Really?" she asks.
Expansion: She could barely fathom the kindness of a supposed savage. She, like me, had very few people she trusted and for some reason she chose me the same way I chose her.

"Take whatever you want. Now that I've got a bow and arrows, I can get more. Plus I've got snares. I can show you how to set them
Question: How long does she think they are going to be together," I say. Rue still looks uncertainly at the leg. "Oh, take it," I say, putting the drumstick in her hands. "It will only kep a few days anyway, and we've got the whole bird plus the rabbit." Once she's got hold of it, her appetite wins out and she takes a huge mouthful.

"I'd have thought, in District Eleven, you'd have a bit more to eat than us. You know, since you grow food," I say.
Expansion: District twelve was always a little jealous of District 11. While we were starving to death they were surrounded by food and we never considered that the commodity was treated the same way our coal is.

Rue's eyes widen.
Restory: Rue laughs at in a cruel way I never thought anyone so small and innocent seeming could. Perhaps she was more like me than Prim as I had originally thought. The hatred dripping in her voice as she told of her friends and family being whipped for stealing food as they were starving started to give me chills. "Oh, no, we're not allowed to eat the crops."

"They arrest you or something?" I ask.
Expansion: I think back to my own district and the peacekeepers that watch me leave to hunt, simply so they can eat the meat too.

"They whip you and make everyone else watch
Close Read: Torturing someone and making everyone else watch sounds a lot like the hunger games. It makes it so much more painful not only for the person being whipped to know it hurts their family too but the people watching are also seeing the pain that they could be in if they do something wrong.," says Rue. "The mayor's very strict about it."

Remixed by Joan Marie Hady

Quantifying your mark up choices:

  • Close reading: 2
  • Expand: 3
  • Question: 1
  • Replace: 1
  • Restory: 1

List of Interventions:

Close Read: Katniss literally only trusts and wants to help Prim and this one other girl she has found that is like Prim. The fact that she doesn't trust anyone else is a testament to her background and general personality.
Expansion: She could barely fathom the kindness of a supposed savage. She, like me, had very few people she trusted and for some reason she chose me the same way I chose her.
Question: How long does she think they are going to be together
Expansion: District twelve was always a little jealous of District 11. While we were starving to death they were surrounded by food and we never considered that the commodity was treated the same way our coal is.
Restory: Rue laughs at in a cruel way I never thought anyone so small and innocent seeming could. Perhaps she was more like me than Prim as I had originally thought. The hatred dripping in her voice as she told of her friends and family being whipped for stealing food as they were starving started to give me chills.
Replace: a dark distrusting tone
Expansion: I think back to my own district and the peacekeepers that watch me leave to hunt, simply so they can eat the meat too.
Close Read: Torturing someone and making everyone else watch sounds a lot like the hunger games. It makes it so much more painful not only for the person being whipped to know it hurts their family too but the people watching are also seeing the pain that they could be in if they do something wrong.